So, I have been super busy. So busy that it's almost to the point of overwhelming. I've worked 30+ hours two weeks in a row, which is completely awesome because I'll have spending money for whenever I go back to school, but it got to the point for a couple of days that I felt like all I did was work and then come home and go straight to bed.
I am officially "Johnson City sick" and can't wait to go back. Sadly enough, I still have six more weeks to go. BUT--I did get to have lunch with Josh Thompson and his Tennessee Travel Team. A much needed lunch, that actually boosted my spirits. Tomorrow, I am getting up bright and early for a reunion day with Anna Mayfield and Chelsea Leonard in Knoxville, and then heading to work.
Once again, I got super down about myself this week for not doing summer missions. But once again, God put me right back into my place by putting constant reminders in my daily life to make me realize that I am home for a reason. Tuesday night I went to the weekly bible study at the BCM which really really really helped me to open my eyes and put on my big girl panties and deal with being home. We have been going over the sermon on the mount and this week we finished up chapter five. Wow. I read it in my NIV bible at bible study, but actually just looked it up in The Message translation - and I like it so, I'll share it here.
"Here's another old saying that deserves a second look: 'Eye for eye, tooth for tooth.' Is that going to get us anywhere? Here's what I propose: 'Don't hit back at all.' If someone strikes you, stand there and take it. If someone drags you into court and sues for the shirt off your back, giftwrap your best coat and make a present of it. And if someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously. "You're familiar with the old written law, 'Love your friend,' and its unwritten companion, 'Hate your enemy.' I'm challenging that. I'm telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that. "In a word, what I'm saying is, Grow up. You're kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you."
What hit me the most is the verse that says "When someone gives you a hard time, respond with energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves." For the first time last week I had the desire to pray for those who did me wrong, and the things going on in their life. Which I feel like is some major progress. Also, over the past year I felt like I was the laugh of a lot of situations, and as crappy as it may sound I wanted the laugh to be turned around on the people who had affected my life so drastically. I felt really extremely convicted whenever I read this because I was doing the whole 'eye for an eye' mess. But really, I just needed to stand there and take it all in, have a Christ-like mind about it. So, even though it may be delayed - I have given those people "my best coat".
Tonight at church we sang Hosanna, and there is one part of the song that I've said over and over and never really comprehended what it meant, until tonight. It says, "Heal my heart and make it clean; open up my eyes to the things unseen." and God has been doing that very much over the past week. On Monday morning, I was beginning to really regret lots of opportunities I had turned down for what I thought was what God was telling me. I was second guessing myself and God for the final decision to come home for the whole summer, but he has wrapped it all up pretty amazingly. I honestly believe that this summer God has mended my heart, but prepared it as well. Mended it from my past year, and prepared it for my next year (and summer as well). I'm very anxious to see what God opens up for me through it all, as I'm sure it will be something pretty awesome (but, isn't anything God has part in?)
No comments:
Post a Comment